(3 feb 2o1o)

lolz.. looking at other ppl wedding pics.. so envy them.. deep in my heart.. yes.. i stil do wan a happi family.. but when?? when can i have it?? dun dare to think... hope to have a 2nd child.. when can i have?? or will i have?? if too old le.. dun dare to give birth 2nd one liao..

i dun dare to give my bf so much stress.. since he stil young.. juz gg to start his career.. i dun dare to ask anything frm him.. bcoz partly.. i dun dare to put so much hope.. im not scare to fall down agn.. is juz tat.. im LAZY to fall down den stand up agn bcoz of rs.. tats y.. dun put high hope.. wont fall so hard.. mb im reali kind of tired liao ba..

i juz realized tat.. i had put down my past.. n looking forward.. mb reali old liao.. n tired of holding on the past.. past got so much bad things happened.. now i dare to face those who last time hurt mi le.. of coz.. wat had happened.. wil remind as memories.. every now n den i recalled.. i feel nothing at all.. mb now too xin fu liao.. or mb should i say.. already so many things happened le.. feel numb??

for mi.. rs is always the last thing to think abt.. bcoz im so busy wif my own things.. esp my son..

there is one thing i wanna share.. b positive in life.. dun always so neg & emo.. life sure got lots of ups & down.. dun small small matter.. see til like super big matters.. if got problems.. solve it.. at there emo & being neg.. & drinking.. wont help to solve ur problems..

too emo or & neg.. wil let sum ppl sianz of u.. not they dun wanna listen to u.. but if same old problems for more den 6months.. & u kip saying the same things.. ppl hear liao oso wil sianz... dun say more den 6months la.. sum ppl hear more den a month oso sianz..

hubby~~ i dun knw how our future wil b.. if reali wanna b wif mi.. we reali muz work hard.. if one day u change ur heart.. PLZ TEL MI.. dun let mi catch u... lolz... ;P

hubby nitez nitez wor.. im gg to bed le..

*COUNT DOWN*~~~~~*17 m0re days*