16.o7.2o11.. sat... 2011... (part 2)

til now til now.... wherever i tot of hubby how much hubby did for mi... i feel like crying... reali reali deeply touch by him...

i wonder.. how many guys can do it... sum ppl wil think.. wil tis b forvever?? hmmm... forever.. is way too long to think of.. y nt cherish everything u have now.. rather den kip thinking of.. when we wil brk off?? izzit tired?? n i dun think wil last long if u kip thinking when u two wil brk off.. or alot of guessing game... is guessing rs is nt reali tat healthy.. coz one party wil get tired of tis kind of mind games...

for mi... a rs... i dun like mind game.. but.. got another type is cal.. 'xing you ling xi'.. ( dun knw i spell rite or nt).. tat one is sweet... tats wat mi n hubby r nw... we stil have long way ahead.. but i believe we can... the word ' believe ' is reali important...

sum ppl might think im toking crap.. but plz... think real hard... coz sum cpl ard mi... i find tat.. they r playing mind game... i guess.. if im one of the 'player'.. i wil end everything...

feeling so so so xinfu.. thanks god.. u send mi an angel to mi.. protect mi.. & loving mi without conditions...hubby.. onli u.. n u... who can love mi like tis way... no one can b like u.. n no one can replace u... I LOVE U!!!

everything we went through make our love stronger n stronger... is mi.. i hate to admit it.. but is mi... im the one who cant live my life without u...

16.o7.2o11.. sat... 2011... (part 1)

long long time once den update my blog... so so so so so lazy to type... =P

had fun wif hubby on 9 & 10 july 2o11... but is nt fun on 11 july 2o11 which is mon... after helping my mum at her stall... i went for ladies... after went ladies.. im having a real shape pain in my stomach.. called hubby when im on the way hm...

reach hm downstairs... the pain reduce abit... but stil... veri painful to walk... went hm had bath b4 heading to see doc... when i saw the doc... the doc press my lower rite part of my stomach... quite painful... after tat doc ask mi go bk to see him at 7pm..

went hm to rest awhile... ask my family help mi tc of my son for awhile while i went bk to see doc... the doc pressed the same place... tis time rd... is more painful... doc asked mi go hospital... deep in my heart.. i knw sumthing is nt rite... went bk hm to pack sum clothes...

we took cab to NUH... once i reach hospital... they push a wheel chair for mi to sit... lolz... 2nd time i sit on a wheel chair... (1st time is when im pregnant).. i dun like the feeling!!! while i wait in a corner... hubby help mi registered...

den doc agn check tis n tat... press the same place... den doc said... 'think u have to admit'... =.= sianz!!!! den admit lor... i was sent into a place to put drips.. for 2hrs... at 12 july 2o11.. tues.. den got a temp ward for mi... hubby was waiting all the while... (heart pain)...

the staff push mi to the ward.. n i saw hubby!!! changed n lying down on bed.. feel so scared n worry... hubby nv leave mi... hubby even watched mi slping... til 5plus am.. hubby den leave.... (heart pain agn).. ard 6am... they push mi to x-ray...

dun knw wat time... think between 8-10am... docs came told mi... gd n bad news... gd is might nt b the mang chang yan... bad is... is confirm infection.. n is swollen.. but dun knw wats the cause... im like.. WTF!!!!

ard late morning i think... after hubby arrive... i was push to operation... (tis part everytime i think... i sure cry more).. i look behind... i saw hubby... can see frm his face... he look so so worry... make mi wanna cry.. i cant forget tat look... pains mi alot.. i knw hubby juz like mi... trying hard to b strong.. coz we dun wan each other b more worry...

when im in operation rm... feel so complicated my feeling... not long later... i heard sumone cal mi... i open eyes.. n i knw... is over... i open my eyes agn... i saw hubby is there... hubby waited for at least 3hrs... nv leave mi... (heart pain)..

hubby trying to pei til late.. but was chase by nurse... oso gd... coz hubby nv hao hao rest... thus hubby cm prepare mi frm discharged.... den hubby went to work...

15.o7.2o11... fri... hubby cm find mi after work... tot of gg for a walk.. but too tired to do so... mb i nv eat any rice or meat.. no energy at all...

o4.o6.2o11.. sat.. 1446

hohoho.... now at hm doing nothing... waiting to fetch my son at ard 3plus 4... hubby is slping now... intend to cal him when im gg out... wan him to slp more... mb nt gg far... wil b at NEX later...

hmmm... tis few days... discovered alot of secrets... abt my frenz hiding things frm mi... but... even after i knew.. im nt angry at all... knw y?? coz they r juz my frenz.. no harm to mi... onli if hubby lie to mi.. den diff..

even thou.. im nt angry.. sumthing im juz so curious.. abt the.. mb to mi.. the childish act... hmmm... dun wanna say much.. to avoid ppl backstab mi... mb stil wil... but at least nt tat much... i said MAYBE.. nt confirm... as i didnt hear or see...

or mb wat he said might nt b like tis? but wan i encounted is sumthing like wat he said.. sound complicated?? yesss... indeed... actuali is small thing.. mb sumone juz make it feel so complicated?? nt sure is which one... as none of them can b trusted...

juz hope tat... things already passed so long... n im even getting marry to my hubby... dun put it in heart... as u r nt the onli one who get hurt... if i can let it go... y cant u?? if u said u already let it go.. y stop us frm contacting?? wat he said izzit true? not sure.. but den.. dun reali wanna knw.. onli u urself knw...

u can say as much as u like behind mi... juz tat.. wat wil u gain by doing all tat?? wishing u good luck in everything u do... learn to let go.. u wil feel more happi... ( mb u wil nt b happi.. n u knw wat?? none of my business) =D

lastly... HUBBY!!! I MIZ U SO MUCH!!! hohoho... later can see u liao... MUACKZ!!!!

o6.o3.2o11... sun... 2323

few more hrs gg to hubby de hs le wor... so happi...

alot of things happened... 我看开了。。 lies n lies... y am i living in tis kind of world agn... since last yr... 1st.. is mi n hubby having problems... den after ah soon re-appear.. my life is upside down... den follow by family problems...

tat period of time... is like living in hell.. losing myself... esp after ah soon appear... im like living the life when im stil teenage.. i feel like im a youngster... who is lost in life.. no direction... juz live day by day... NO!! tats not the life i wan now... alot of lies n lies...

now.. im bk to my track.. i dun understand.. y things r so simple... yet human love to make it so complicated... not gg bk to tis life agn.. feel SHIT!

SOON!! u bought mi miserable n make my life complicated... have u ever tot of ya own fucking future?? so many ppl help u... care for u.. give u so many chances... y the hell u did tat for?? juz bcoz of little problems.. den go bk ya 'bad habbit'?! IS JUZ EXCUSE!!! if mi n my frenz can get out of tat 'world'.. Y CANT U!!!???

no one owe u... we all no nid to help u.. u stil dun wanna wake up.. den sorri... U R OLD ENOUGH TO CHOSE YA BLOODY OWN PATH!! if one day.. everyone ignore u... den GOOD LUCK TO U!! may god bless u...

hubby: thx for everything... thx for forgiveness... thx for pei wo throu my reali down period.. n u nv complain... without u.. i reali dun knw where i am or who i am now... i remember tat nite.. i asked u n u ans..

while waiting for lift~~~

mi: hubby.. can i ask u sumthing?

hubby: ya?

mi: y i treated u so badly.. yet u stil treat mi so gd n nv leave mi?

hubby: ans is simple.. bcoz i love u~~~~

wif my son ard.. i have to hold bk my tears... i tears bcoz IM TOUCH by hubby actions.. GUYS LISTEN!! IS ACTIONS!! NOT ONLI WORDS!!!

i asked hubby.. bcoz he reali reali stay wif mi no matter wat happen... no matter how bad i treated him.. he stil try his veri best to make mi smile.. even sumtimes he knw im sad.. he juz quiet stay wif mi.. nv question mi anything..

even now.. i tot of how hubby loves n cares for mi esp tat period.. i feel reali reali touch.. not i wanna hao lian or wat.. juz wan my hubby knw tat.. u r THE BEST!!! n tis is telling ppl tat.. no matter u r gal/guy.. man/woman... actions counts.. dun juz SAY~~ n did nothing at all...


老公 谢谢你！！！ 我爱你！！！

18. o2. 2o11... fri... oo37

today is our 30th month anniversary... hubby... happi 30th months anniversary..

hubby juz got bk... yesterday (17.02) afternoon... went ECP wif hubby... went to the hong kong cafe eat... den go play those machine... got one made in china de iphone... dun reali knw how to use...

while having our lurch... ah soon's mum cal... said the visiting letter have cm... so tis afternoon after helping my mum.. wil go visit his mum to take a look at the letter...

have been awhile... where is my true smile?? is gone.. n sumtimes.. im not behaving like myself... bad temper came bk.. all things cm bk.. like my old old self agn... i dun wan... i wont b happi den... thinking of ways to make myself see throu agn...

hubby remind mi sumthing.. when i 1st met him... im oso in miserable stage.. n hubby nv give up... NOW.. hubby agn stay by my side... nv leave n nv give up... wats more can i ask for since god send an angel to mi...

tats y alot of ppl.. told mi.. 'plz cherish tis gd man.. u wil regret if he leave one day...' wat i reply? i juz smile =)


thx hubby pei wo.. n thx for loving mi as who i am... =) (below is the song tat hubby dedicated to mi)

o2. o2. 2o1o.. wed.. oo4o

tis few weeks.. been quarrel wif hubby alot... even a small small matters... guess tis is wat most rs wil go throu..

yesterday morning.. send my son to school at o7ooplus.. went hm to nap... den wake up at 11ooplus.. at hm slack... 13ooplus went to hubby hs to find hubby... after tat.. we went to eat at his hs de market..

after eating we went ms K-BOX!! haha... so long wanna sing... finali get to sing.. but den.. mi n hubby quarrel agn... half way of singing... hubby suddenli went out... tot he gg for a smoke.. but.. WRONG... he went to buy a POOH BEAR FOR MI!!! once i saw the pooh bear.. i broke down n CRIED~~~ n told him alot of heart broken things..

after a tok.. i feel beta.. but i knw he feel miserable.. i knw he scare i wil leave sumday...

den we went to caught bear bear b4 heading hm... n i so lucky!!! i used S$1/- to get one!!! OMG!! so happi~~~

to hubby~~

sori tat i told u all those things.. i knw is veri hurtful.. i oso veri fan.. dun knw wat to do.. at the end.. i chose to.. let everything b nature.. juz dun think so much.. dun ever promise mi or tel mi tat.. u sure can tis n tat... seriously.. i oso not sure how we wil bcm yrs later... wil we stil b together? or we have our own life?

dun wanna think... now im veri xinfu at the moment... so dun wanna make myself so miserable... i hope u too can do it like mi... juz focus on wat u nid to do.. rather den at there fan the rs thingy.. for long run.. is reali wasting time...

i knw u care alot.. but.. u reali nid to grow up... thinking sure wil b diff liao.. when u r gg to b 30.. u wil understand my thinking n feeling...

hubby~~~ love u..

26 jan 2o11.. 0059

feeling so miserable now... crying wifout sound now... feeling so hurt..

bitch always a bitch.. onli knw how to hurt ppl... i admit.. im a bitch... i reali dun deserve any gd guys.... i blame myself.. i dun blame u... u did nothing wrong... juz tat.. u r stil a guy... but i nid a man... the more i see abt us.. the more make mi miserable... starting to see the truth... make mi more miserable..

the more u care for mi... the more i feel like im shit... sori.. i cant change.. im stil mi... alot of things.. dun tel u... bcoz dun wanna see u so miserable.. i rather i cry alone... plz dun ask mi anything...

u r stil young.. theres many choices... im gg to 30... thinking diff... bcoz of mi... u force urself to change... juz b urself hao ma.. let mi see the real u.. at least i knw... dun cry bcoz of mi... dun feel sad for mi.. not worth.. im juz a bitch...

love u hubby... miz u so much now